In the beginning...

I'm gonna give this blog thing a go...I've always thought my life would make a great book, and a blog is just a free book, right? So here we go... I could tell you about the time I got stuck in Mexico, or the time I walked across Spain with a broken foot, the times my heart broke, or I made such an incredible fool of myself I actually wished I wasn't real. How about the time I almost died, the time I almost killed, the time I was so happy on the back of that bike, that if we died, at least it would have been together? I could tell you about the time I burnt down, broke down, got beat down, and completely lost my shit. Or, maybe, the time I met Hercules? Learned to salsa? Thought I was so awful I tried to cut my heart out with a kitchen knife? Was convinced I could breathe under water? Tried to capture clouds in a jar? Dyed my hair every color of the rainbow at the same time? Painted my house? Took pictures of a person I love in a way I could never love another? I might also tell you about how the death of my father was my salvation, and if not for this event I wouldn't be here talking to you today. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to tell you. Just trust that I will tell you something... So, I think, today I will tell you about my mom. She is without a doubt the strongest person I have ever met. I don't have her writing tattooed on me for nothing! It's probably not for the best for you to believe that our relationship is perfect; we fight like cats. But what you should believe is that without her I would be lost. I don't tell her everything, in fact there a things I pointedly don't tell her. I have many reasons for my censorship. Sometimes I don't want her to see my weakness, sometimes I just don't want to hear it, and sometimes what I am thinking hurts me so much, that I couldn't possibly imagine her feeling that way on my behalf. I won't tell you about her life, because, frankly, it's not my story to tell. What I will tell you however, is what I have learnt from her. I have learnt that a human being is far stronger than they think they are; that I'm stronger than I think I am. That being scared is not a good enough reason not to do something. That sometimes a person can love a monster, because that person has the ability to see the good in everyone, even the monsters. That if you have Kraft dinner and ground beef, you will never starve. That sometimes people say things they don't mean. And, above all, that I am loved. Oh, and sometimes, all you need in life is a bacon sandwich, a glass of wine, some chocolate chip cookies, and a good ol' fashioned momma hug. From my momma, I have learnt how to be a good person, and hopefully, one day, a damn good momma myself.