And again...

I think Jackson Pollock put it best when he said, "I feel like a clam without a shell." This describes my existence thus far. I can not even count the times I've wished I was a turtle. Where I could hide my sensitive self in my rock hard shell, pack up and move somewhere else. Hide until the storm passes. But I can't. Alas, I am a human. Thin skin and all. Which I'm sure is why I'm having so much trouble with my current situation. I'm not talking about being sick, or being so broke its actually laughable, I'm talking about being single. It's actually not being single perse that's getting to me, it's the fact that I've decided I don't really want to be any more. I know who I am, what I want, and equally important, what I don't. I think my issue with this whole thing is that I thought I'd found it. The big it. The big "L". Clearly I was wrong. Once again. So in the interest of finding my perfect person, the one who compliments me so completely, I've decided to give this online dating thing another go....I've met some amazing people. I've also met some people I thought were amazing until they vanished into thin air. I've met some hostile people, some lonely people, and let's not forget about the douchebags; I've met lots of them too. And after all this, I have some questions, when does "hey hottie" actually work? Are we 15? No shit your single! Or, why would your first message to me be about bending me over the couch and making me squeal? Why even bother? Go to he bar. Find some easy chick whose lacking just enough self esteem to go home with you, and bend HER over the couch. Also the cock shots, those are nice too; stay classy boys. Also, what's up with the "wants to date but nothing serious" , or "casual dating/no commitment". Why are you wasting everybody's time? Why are you putting in all the effort to write a profile, post your pictures, send messages, receive messages, and reply? It seems rather nonsensical to me. However, I'm out of options. I've come to the conclusion that the best cure for someone that makes you cry, is someone that makes you laugh, and unless I want to "die fat and alone, and be found three weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs" (thank you, Bridget Jones), I'm going to have to put myself out there. So, I will persevere. I will weed through all bullshit until I find someone Who is worth my time, my energy,my love.